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Settle or Settlement?

March 6, 2012

We all have hopes and dreams. Some of us take our dreams more serious than others while some people only talk about theirs. The truth is we are innately seekers. We seek out growth, information and knowledge. Don’t believe me? Go one day without asking anyone (including yourself) a question. We can’t because we always want to know and grow.

However, there’s a cost to being serious about growing and knowing. There are people around you who will emerge as obstacles. They are those who proclaimed to share goals with you but as soon as you embark on the journey they try to discourage you or throw doubt at you. It is especially hard when they are close friends or family. You face the challenge of not knowing how to deal with them. They will make you feel like growing is wrong. They will continue to operate in the old habits you shared, being unreliable, wasteful, and undetermined and expect you to be the same way.

So how do we deal with them? Breaking a familial cycle or raising the legacy level of your family is what each subsequent generation is charged to do. We are not supposed to settle with what our ancestors produced for us before we existed whether it be knowledge base, wealth, or community impact. When you decide to do better or go further you are accepting the challenge of being the new breed. How can we place this burden on our children if we, the children of our parents, were unwilling to do the same? Our children watch us be lame and silently view us as hypocrites.

The discomfort comes when emotionally we want to please those around us but rationally we know it to be dangerous. Time can slip away so fast then before we know it, our lives meant little. There will be people criticizing you and discouraging you. You have to decide what the cost will be. Would you rather appease them and settle or appease God and get your settlement? You decide.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 6, 2012 12:35 pm

    Pleasing my most High God is when my rewards show up. I mean, this is where our dreams, vision and talents come from. The most High has a plan for us all to follow using the gift we were given. Not using those gift in Yahweh name is only cursing what he has given and it will be taken away.

    I had a tear fall down my face from reading this article. Remembering how my siblings taunt me for getting good grades, challenging myself and succeeding, wanting to go to college and making myself available to every opportunity that came my way was alittle hurtful. Yes, although your family may say they have your best interest, their actions of verbal negativity against what you believe says different. I dealt with being different from friends and my sisters and also with the discouragement that came with it. Yes it was hurting. Your family and friends are the ones you would expect to get the best support from but not. It was evident that to continue to feel good about what I believe in, I had to move on and love my siblings from afar. To this day I am loving my sisters without much or no contact. Having a real sibling relationship with them is something I can’t afford to pay. I will not pay for my goals and dreams to be reckon by people that are afraid to let me grow because it may show their weak ends. My mom bragged on me alot, but she didn’t do much for my advancement. She didn’t know how and never show interest to do so. I reached outside my community with teachers that believe in me and it was THEM that help me apply to gain scholarships. My mom thought my artwork will not take me anywhere. Well I had got a full scholarship at ASU for Architect Design. Partial scholarship in Atlanta, and the same in my hometown Charlotte. She detoured me from ASU because she did not want me to go the mountains. To this day, I know if I chose that school, things would had been alot different for me now.

    Today I set aside anyone that stand in my way to succeed. I got a divorce for that very reason. If you’re not for me than you are against me. Since making choices to not allow people , family, friends in my world that will hinder my growth, things have been great in my achieving and still climbing that ladder of success. Great thought provoking article Professor Robinson and great reminder that if you want to continue to grow and achieve what you believe in, your dreams, you sometimes have to grow pass those that hold you back.

  2. March 6, 2012 2:24 pm

    I have lived and am living this reality. I made my mind up a few years ago that I would rather be alone, and trust me after relocating back to Wisconsin from Atlanta I am very much alone, than be around people who would bring me stress all because they fail to resolve within themselves the need for change. The problem is that I constantly tried to bring information to certain individuals, encouraged and financially supported efforts to get friends and family to realize their potential, all it did was make me broke financially and spiritually. But they were content where they were at I had to resolve to allow them to be where they wanted to be and move on. I literally had to cut them loose and it was a challenge at first I had thought back to all of the stress they brought and it became easy. Today I am recuperating financially from “throwing my pearls at swine” so to speak. I am, as I write this, strategizing on ways to become more financially able to host entrepreneurial events to those who want it here in the Milwaukee WI. area. If I had words of wisdom to others it would be to “let go and let God” deal with those people…family or not and don’t feel one ounce of guilt, trust me they aren’t feeling it for you. People remain in fear for trying to move forward and there are just some who are lazy and some who are just rotten to the core…let them be. People have to come to the point of change on their own. They will use God and guilt if you don’t “help” them. Devin, once again you nailed it.

    • March 6, 2012 11:03 pm

      Philip I commend you on your choices. I was in the same boat. To love family or friends is not about making them feel good to see us not succeed. Its not just about their feelings, but more important our own feelings. I relate and pray for your continue success!

  3. March 10, 2012 3:02 am

    Pleasing my most High God is when my rewards show up. I mean, this is where our dreams, vision and talents come from. The most High has a plan for us all to follow using the gift we were given. Not using those gift in Yahweh name is only cursing what he has given and it will be taken away.

    Remembering how my siblings taunt me for getting good grades, challenging myself and succeeding, wanting to go to college and making myself available to every opportunity that came my way was alittle hurtful. Yes, although your family may say they have your best interest, their actions of verbal negativity against what you believe says different. I dealt with being different from friends and my sisters and also with the discouragement that came with it. Yes it was hurting. Your family and friends are the ones you would expect to get the best support from but not. It was evident that to continue to feel good about what I believe in, I had to move on and love my siblings from afar. To this day I am loving my sisters without much or no contact. Having a real sibling relationship with them is something I can’t afford to pay. I will not pay for my goals and dreams to be reckon by people that are afraid to let me grow because it may show their weak ends. My mom bragged on me alot, but she didn’t do much for my advancement. She didn’t know how and never show interest to do so. I reached outside my community with teachers that believe in me and it was THEM that help me apply to gain scholarships. My mom thought my artwork will not take me anywhere. Well I had got a full scholarship at ASU for Architect Design. Partial scholarship in Atlanta, and the same in my hometown Charlotte. She detoured me from ASU because she did not want me to go the mountains. To this day, I know if I chose that school, things would had been alot different for me now.

    Today I set aside anyone that stand in my way to succeed. I got a divorce for that very reason. If you’re not for me than you are against me. Since making choices to not allow people , family, friends in my world that will hinder my growth, things have been great in my achieving and still climbing that ladder of success. Great thought provoking article Professor Robinson and great reminder that if you want to continue to grow and achieve what you believe in, your dreams, you sometimes have to grow pass those that hold you back.

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